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Dec. 13th, 2005 04:47 pm hello

i am back everything is well the kids are very excited about christmas as well am i. i believe this will be the best ever. this house is so full of love and happyness. work is fine still doing good in my spanish taking it up as a second language i have a problem rolling my R's but over all i love the language. my friends are all doing well i wonder how many gifts i am getting for the holiday i am cooking for christmas and i have people coming over as well. my baby boy wanna make cookies and leave them out for santa. i think it's cute. i had a tragic xmas last year i'm so glad that is far away from me. i do honestly hope she is doing well and she found what she wanted. "she know who she is" ahe keeps a journal but to tell you the truth i don't wanna read her life cuz if it's bad far as someone doing her wrong i would wanna handle them or her needing anything i would wanna help. "who am i kidding she will never want my help" but anyway life is good for me now

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Aug. 10th, 2005 08:26 pm im back

well it's been awhile i am still at starbucks. life has been great the kids are good and my dog as well as lizzard is great. i don't know where to begin so let me just sum it up. haven't been on my old block and can't say i miss it. my new house it beautiful and peaceful. i am finally at peace. "exhale" i am getting married to a beautiful woman who i would have never thought possible. it has been nothing but pure heaven been together 1 month and 1 week and it's been everything i could possibly imagine. can you believe that we haven't even had an argument which i think is weird but never will i ever complaine. there where times when i thought that i would never date another woman again but she made that possible due to her love and patience i have learned to trust and love again. this wedding has turned out to be big and beautiful we have bridesmaids flower girls and music i am very excited.

Current Mood: excitedexcited
Current Music: i found you

Apr. 7th, 2005 10:16 pm just sitting here

today was ok at work to tell you the truth i had a fucking hard week. i am off tomorrow gonna enjoy it. the only thing i have to do is wash clothes and drop something off to my frinds house. i been having a lot on my mind lately. work been going fine. i still love my job just not liking the stuff that been going on. i am still singe and it's kind of lonely. i had 2 proposals of marriage. i guess most woman would love that but don't faze me any. given a few years ago i would love this chance to be someone's wife but not right now. don't get me wrong i truly feel these people are geniune this is not the first proposal. but everyone want a wife but don't wanna invest the time. wheather or not you already know me or not. i have changed i am not the person that you thought you know a lot of me is differant and i am not saying that's a bad thing.i still and will always say i know i am wifey material just wanna take my time. i wanna marry for love and not just security. the person i marry being man or woman should know about me. like my favorite foods or favorite movies and the things that make me sad and little things that make me smile. that person should be my best friend who i share everything good or bad with them. someone who i can cry about my day and jump out and say "boo" when their not looking. tha's who my eternal mate should be. and i'm not excluding woman cuz i realize that my perfect can be a woman or man as long as i am happy forever

Current Mood: happyhappy

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Mar. 31st, 2005 06:31 pm just relaxing

i'm siting here watching grifrieds i love the show. work for once was pretty easy. i had a short shift and didn't here my name that much today and to top it all off i can hang out tonight cuz i don't work till four tomorrow. so i am excited. and best of all i am FUCKING SINGLE!!!! AND THEIR IS NOT A DAMN THING ANYONE CAN SAY!!!! but anyway kids are eating leftover spaghetti they said is was very good. i do get kids of lonely but don't want to be held down. i mean i miss haveing a relationship but i have so many negative views on it just don't feel like being bothered with no one trying to run my life or invade my space. i will always believe everyone needs some type of privacy. even after all this time i do not miss the block at all.i did like marsha she seem to be cool and didn't have much to say about anyone that i can tell. so i will say "what's up" to her. hope denzy is doing well i do believe he truly found a good owner and i am glad. you know i always had a soft spot for the animals. i am goona call the spca so they can get that dead dog out my yard so people don't have to smell anything. the kids are doing well out here they like it.my frieds that helped me i want to express my thanks and gratitude for all that she have done. hweather or not their is further intentions. everything that she has done i do believe that it was very genuine and everyone needs a friend like her and i hope that she finds someone that makes her heart melts they will probably be more lucky to have met her than her to have met them. so incase i never said it i am saying it now "thank you for all that you have done for my kids and me. you have truly been a God sent" anyway winter and i are friends trying to adjust to that it's weird after all these years but i believe it is best. their is too much mess that has happen between us as well as people adding to it. i do miss her but going back will never be the same. don't get me wrong their are time when i wonder if i am making the right decision i guess i will never know. and she don't wanna be my friend so i am dealing with that now. anyway life is going good it's nice coming home and being alone if i want without anyone being over my shoulder. maybe i don't need to live with anyone.

Current Mood: flirtyflirty

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Mar. 6th, 2005 07:07 pm it's just another day

well i had to work today was busy as heck but time went by very fast. came home and cleaned my room up and am now cooking dinner for the kids. i have a lot on my mind these few days but i know i have some readers out here. so lt me make this interesting or shall i say clear up some rumors or lies or misconceptions....... i don't know where to start so just gonna type whatever comes out. YES a year ago i did cheat on winter i pretty sure we all know this but i'm aying it now so everyone can stop acting like i don't know they no, or she told you. don't know why i did it just did hell i barly remember that night. but it happened. i never told winter she found out from a text i didn't erase.i will never forget her face when she found out. she cried and then i realized that i actually hurt someone. well never the less she has made my life hell for the pass year over that one night. not syaing she don't have a right to uhrt but when she said she forgave she made sure i didn't forget. and it didn't help when people that where up to no good where in her ear. well things between us has never been the same even threw all the trying. that girl was np where to b found for the biggest part of torture and it didn't matter. for the most part of all this there where negative forces that wanted to see us fail or either wanted to have winter to themselves of for the night. i have a problem with those that claimed to be my friend but felt the need to make sure winter new everything if nothing about me. see i expect people to be how they are when they want someone??? see you bring a gay woman on the block and everyone is just courious all the lying the acting like you looking for me to her just to inform her of stuff is not a friend. a friend will mind their business especially if they wanna be a mutual friend. there is only one person on that block that i can say was afriend or just stayed out of maybe she wasn't but i feel as she was. even a few weeks ago knowing winter and i weren't together she was still being informed of my dealings. yes the girl was at MY HOUSE we all no it made front page news. for the record i don't think they look anything alike to get the mixed up so i don't understand how people claim to tell winter they din't nkow if it was her or the girl. o know some people need to watch some other people cuz i know for a fact misery loves company and their are a few home wreckers on the block that loves to sleep with other peoples property and some, want there mate to find. i have never met a block like the one i came from. i hate how those that talked about me and dogged me out would speak to me like i have no clue about what was said. believe me i knew more than you thought i new. i new stuff you told winter, i new stuff from the cordless phone when i'm on it and the lines cross. i even found out stuff that isn't even about me its about people sleeping with other people or that is on the block also as well as family. believe i know enough so start a book. but anyway i'm glad that winter was smart enough to not fall into the traps that woman lay. the good thing is she foind out on her own. i did like the weekend gatherings we had those where cool. everyone has shit with them but some more than others. but i did consider some of those people my friends i was wrong but then i learned that their are differant types of friends. but back to what i was saying winter and i almost killed each other a couple of times over someone that happened once. but it not until recently that we became friends and no one can change that she was their those time when i needed some one. see instead of eveyone whispering about me haveing no water she helped. i found out who my friends where when that happen even though i was right all along just made it clear then. so telling winter she been around, we still sleeping together or claiming to not tell tehm apart does not even matter to me at all. i guess i hate the part of winter trying to make it known that it happened but didn't want know one to know about the truck iccident. just last week when i thought winter was finally getting pass it and she told someone else and the girl ain't lying cuz she ran it down about it all. i felt some but atleast she was woman enough to sya something to me instead of whisper behind my back about what was said.i been trying to shake it but i can't cuz she still dragging this shit around. so why bother it's very clear that " we where together 3years and i cheated on her with someone she claim look like her and has a car like her" that was repeated to me just when i thought i was pass that nonsense. but how is it ok to tell teh world about that and don't want me to tell anything about you????? " so you can still look like the good person" but you know what that don't make me a bad person at all it took me a long time to realize that after all the out downs, the name callings, the lack of trust. i know i am a beautiful person still.

Current Mood: accomplishedaccomplished
Current Music: FUCK EVERYONE

Feb. 3rd, 2005 08:02 pm well well ell

this is gonna be short for today. GUESS WHAT????? I'M BACK i moved off that phoney as block where everyone wanna claim to be your friend so they can find out the dirt or make up some to have something clever to tell the other person. where my kids and i are loving it. we are all finally at peace. i love this house it's beautiful and the kids love it too. i can tell cuz they r taking care of it.as for inter and i well that will go in another time. i am still at my job and i am loving it still. even though we have a new person at our store who i think is fake also. i think he/she is not making any of us feel welcomed. i did a survey on he/she and do you know most the store feels that they dont try and be nice. we all understand they have a job to do but you can do your job and still be friendly person to us that's beneath you. doesn't mean we don't like the person they just make us feel uncomfortable. don't get me wrong we all have shit with us just some more than others and with the shit you add being fake well.... but enough of that. i don't hang out like i do just sometimes i still go to sister's nite club for the peace and quiet. but i don't go for the woman i mean i know it don't make sense but i clearly can be in that club and have no desire for any of the woman that pass by me. so does that mean i'm just not gay wel i never thought i was gay anyhow so i guess that means i'm bi???? well spring is almost here i'm glad i'm tired of the damn cold weather.

Current Mood: artisticartistic

Oct. 28th, 2004 05:56 pm it's been a minute

well things are going ok. i got promoted today to shift superviser "yeah" so i'm excited about that. we suposed to celebrate tonight. the kids are still kids working a nerve. winter and i are ok. we just had a big falling out almost a week ago. so don't know now. been chilling with the girl down the street a little more. i know her "friends" are black balling her cuz of her company. all i can do is laugh "ha ha ha" work was good today. well i guess that's it for now really not feeling like writing.

Current Mood: excitedexcited

Oct. 14th, 2004 08:51 pm it's almost friday

well i still have my sickness it's taking me down. i thought it ws my allergies but i am cold then hot and i am running a fever. "awwww" but anyway work was work had a short day and it was fine even thought i was dead on my feet. the kids had school. winter did the laundry. she been taking care of me she just made me some tea "how sweet" she is going to 3rd world to see the men shake their booties " wahooo" but giving the company and my sickness i am not up to it. so i am gonna just relax and get some good sleep and just watch tv. i don't wanna be sick on the weekend. the block is pretty empty probably cuz it's raining. i love the rain it makes the air smell fresh and kids tend to stay in so i don't hear the door as often. well i guess that's it for now.

Oct. 13th, 2004 03:54 pm it's cold outside

well today went ok work was work fune as usual. i am cooking dinner we are having fish mix veggies and butter noodles "yummy" winter and i are just chilling today i don't know if it's my allergies or a cold but it's killing me. i'm so sleepy but wanna stay up and be with my babies and winter. my neighbor bought us a bottle and that was very nice nice of her. that's the shit i mean do for others that having them alway's do for you. now i will buy her a bottle it won't be the exspensive stuff "ha ha" but it will be something she drinks. the kids are home and dong the norm. but you no what it quiet in this house today and iam loving it.

Oct. 12th, 2004 06:03 pm happy anniversary

well my day started interesting. first winter car cut off on me at 5:30 in the damn morning. no gas. so i was so close to my job but the car was stuck in the street. so i had to wait for her to get out the bd and come push me to the gas station. just to make it to work. and it was cold outside. then on top of that the girl from my job and i where trying to push this big as tahoe " bull shit" that big ass truck did not budge. then work was fine winter stayed all day with me at work "awwww" that made me smile to see her all day even though she tried to boss me around and the hussy don't work their "the last time i checked she didn't" but it was nice. we even had lunch together and just talked. even though i am catching a bug and feel bad i loved today and it's our anniversary. tear.....s i g h..... i was gonna vent about the liars on my block but i learned they are just not worth it "today" well that's all. i love you winter and HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO YOU!!!!! and i had a great time last night even though i can't remember much i loved it all the same. all i know is we had to be doing a lot cuz a sister is tired and my body aches something terrible.

Current Mood: exhaustedexhausted
Current Music: it's our anniversary

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